my biggest fear is I’m married & my husband says, “let’s cut sugar out of our diet” so I have to leave with the kids in the middle of the night
the only way I’ll wake up early
japanese prank shows are on a whole other level
the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself
“Mudkip” Mudkip mudkipped softly
"Blaziken!!" Blaziken blazikened loudly and punted Mudkip into orbit.
|—||Humans of New York - Amman, Jordan (via 5000letters)|
i think the only thing ill ever be proud of is one of my selfies being used as a emo porn site advertisement
those people who insult you and then act like the victim when you say something about it
"WOW OMG I WAS JUST KIDDING JESUS Y CANT U JUST TAKE A JOKE GOD GET OVER IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL OMFG WOW I DID NOTHING WRONG"
i don’t think it’s possible for baby harp seals to be more adorable if they tried:
just look at
their little bodies!
and their big eyes!!!
and the way they slide all over
and thIS ONE???
IT’S SMILING LOOK AT IT
BABY SEALS ARE PRECIOUS THAT IS ALL
The first word you see is your other-half’s zodiac sign!
It’s the one you are subconsciously attracted to the most.
Which zodiac sign did you see first?
I literally looked at this and told myself “CORN” and got really confused for a second then I realized my mistake and I’m still judging myself for that.
//This began the rise of Aperture Science.
What if we used this to coat foam cosplay weapons and armor?
what if i sprayed this on my dick while i was hard. i would have the eternal wood
there are two kinds of people